Looking through the Glass.

A fragile, petite girl was swinging on her old swing set for the last ten minutes that she could; tracing her fingers up, down and through the cold chains.

She hasn't spoken in almost four days.

And she doesn't want to leave.

The moving vans just finished packing up.  She lived here her whole life, but it was too painful to be here anymore.  She didn't want things to change so fast.

She's terrified.

Her Daddy pulls up in the black car.
He walks towards her holding back tears.
"Have you got everything sweetheart?" he said in a gentle voice.
"Yes, but I'm not going back inside that house" she said her high, sad voice.
"Okay, I understand" he said softly.
"Are you ready to go?"

She looked up at him with tears of heartache rushing down her small, angelic face and whispered,
"Daddy, I don't want to go."
Tears erupt from his sad, blue eyes as he embraced his small angel.

They wept together in a sorrowful hug.

He carried her to the car and slid into the back seat as Grandpa backed up the black car.
The fragile, petite girl looked through the glass at the sad house.
"I love you Daddy, and Mommy" She breathed.
"I love you too, and Mommy" Daddy whispered.

He hugged her tighter as they drove to Mommy's funeral.

One Word.

FREE.

Freedom is that sweet watermelon in the summer heat.  Freedom is crying after you found out that he cheated.  Freedom is eating 50 pounds of greasy food on a Tuesday night just because you're with your fellas.  Freedom is moving out after graduation day.  Freedom is love.  Freedom is music.

Freedom is NOT suicide.  Freedom is NOT discrimination.  Freedom is NOT money. 

being free is being yourself no matter what.

being free is going for your dreams no matter how huge they may be.

being free is allowing yourself to fall.

being free is not free.  But can't obtain being free, you can only be it.

being free is dancing the night away.

being free is never giving up.

being free is... hard.

It seems so easy to do whatever you please, so doesn't that mean that life would be easy? well it's not.  

Life is hard.  You gotta be who you want to be.

We design our dreams, our wants, fears.

We design our lives.

Then, just then,

we become free.

Rock out like That day has Arrived.

You have been given a direct order to rock out.

Rock out like it's 1979.  Like it's a busy street and you're blind.  Rock out like you won the lottery, like you won a free burrito.  Rock out like a ride in that smooth Maserati.  Rock out like it's nobody's business.  Rock out like it's graduation day.

Rock out like you'll never die, like there's no tomorrow.

Rock out like the party never stops.  Rock out like your parents were still together.  Rock out like music's all you got.  Rock out like you just walked on water.  Rock out like you've never rocked out before!  Rock out like you've never been told to.  Rock out like a rebel, like you just heard your favorite song for the first time.

Rock out like things never changed and things stayed the same.

Rock out like you got the last twinkie in the box.  Rock out like you just got transparent socks.

Rock out like you felt like you mattered... to them.

Rock out like you don't know anything!  Rock out like you know everything!  Rock out like you made the winning touchdown.  Rock out like your heart just broke for the first time.  Rock out like you don't know yourself.  Rock out like KISS rocks out.  Head banging baabby.  yeaah buddy.

Rock out like that day has arrived.

Rock out like you don't know.

Rock out like you've never lived.

Rock out like you were clean:

from reputation

from drugs

from all the things you said

from all the things you did

from all the mistakes you made.

Rock out like you have no regrets.

Rock out like you just jumped off the edge of a cliff, rock out because you can fly.

Rock out like you can break dance.

Rock out like you just broke out of jail.

Rock out like your dreams just came true.

Rock out because your scared to.

ROCK OUT LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT.

because it does.

Dead.

Life is Beautiful. I don't know what it's like to lose someone very close to me, but I feel for all you out there that has lost someone dear.  We don't realize what we have until it's gone.  Recognize the beauty in EVERYTHING and EVERYONE.

Dying:

1: Physically losing your life.

2: Emotionally or mentally oblivious.

3: Gone.

4: Without pleasure or purpose.

5: On the verge of any of the above.

I don't know about you, but I'm freaking scared of dying.  So what am I gonna do?

Live.

I'm gonna rock out.

I'm gonna dance.

I'm gonna be stupid, because you don't get smart without experimenting.

I'm gonna be smart.

I'm gonna tell them how I really feel and hope I don't get rejected.

I'm gonna hope.

I'm gonna take chances.

I'm gonna fail.

I'm gonna spend time with those I love.
I'm gonna accept what happens.

I'm gonna kiss them, before I die.

BEFORE I DIE.

What the heck.

We're gonna die. Eff.

Better make it count.

I wanna run away, I wanna have money, I wanna find love, I wanna be loved, I wanna face them, I wanna be some body, I wanna show the world that I can be some body who doesn't care what other people think, some body who wasn't afraid.

BUT I AM AFRAID.

I am afraid.

I'm afraid of boring people, I'm afraid of boring people.  I'm afraid of being alone forever, I'm afraid no one cares, I'm afraid that I'm shy.  I'm afraid of loving someone who doesn't love me.  I'm afraid of failing,

NO. Wait!  I'm not afraid of failing, because we learn by failure.

I'm afraid of failing someone of something, like trust.

I ' M  A F R A I D  O F  E V E R Y T H I N G .

I'm afraid of nothing.

I'm afraid of HATE.  I'm afraid of LOVE.  I'm afraid of loving you, then losing you.

I don't know about you, but I'm freaking scared of dying.  So what am I gonna do?

We'll see what happens while I'm enjoying my life while I can.  Peace.

Boulevard of Broken Dreams.

I walk alone.
I walk alone.

These streets are filled with people, scribbled in every space.
Yet,  that doesn't matter. No matter what I try to do, no one can hear my vibrant voice.
I see a BROKEN TYPEWRITER with nothing but a sentence written.

I walk alone.
I walk alone.

Broken buildings, washed out streets, ruined cars are what I see.
I see a jar of unspoken words.
Billboards plastered with dancing people, because dancing with you is a broken dream.

I walk alone.

I see a broken stethoscope,
a rusty needle,
a split scalpel.
A shattered heart.
I see a couple holding hands.

I walk...

Being a good kid comes with a cheap price.
I feel gossip drip out of young people's lips like poison.
I walk into a deserted Jazz lounge.
I see a broken, dusty piano.  

Keys on the floor, crushed.

I walk outside, I can't see those lovely stars.

A raindrop splashes my face; cold as the Arctic Ocean.

I  s e e  a n  a b a n d o n e d  w e d d i n g  a l t e r with wilted, white roses and thorns intertwined. 

Thorns jostle my heart and dreams. 

I walk alone.

I'm thinking about you.

You asked me who I think about.

Oh, how I wish I could say, I think about you.

I'm thinking about you like people think about money, like bears think about honey.

How the Joker thinks It's funny,

how much I think about you.

I think about you like artists think about art, like love thinks about hearts and hearts think about love.

Like cupid thinks about love.  How kids think about mud.

No, I don't know what love is or how to explain it, but I know I love thinking about you.

I'm thinking about you like misery thinks about happiness, like the sky thinks about stars.

How paparazzi think about stars, like aliens think about mars.

I'm thinking about you like guys think about girls and girls think about guys.

Like Juliet thinks about Romeo, like those kids who love the song we know.

I'm thinking about you like yesterday dreams about tomorrow, like dancers think about dancing and surfers think about the waves and fish think about the ocean, how girls think about drama and actors think about drama and how sluts think about karma?

...

It doesn't matter what the comparison is, I'm always thinking about you.

You felt the awkward, long pause and you asked again who I think about.

I replied, "I could be in a room full of people and feel alone, until I'm thinking about them."

Until I'm thinking about you.

Love is....

Love is a w a t e r f a l l.
Love is a football game.
Love is music.
Love is dancing.
Love is a movie.
Love is a hurricane.
Love is a love song.
L  o  v  e   i  s   a   r  u  n  a  w  a  y   t  r  a  i  n  .
Love is a rock concert.
Love is a hairless monkey. (unexpected.)
Love is a gamble.
Love is a memory.
Love is walking on tight rope.
Love is a tangled chain.
Love is a busy street.
Love is goodbye.