If you really knew me.

I'm going to miss this Creative Writing class.
It hasn't been enough time and I wish it wasn't ending.
I saw but merely a glimpse of what your lives are like.
And you barely saw enough of me; because you don't know me. 

If you really knew me, you'd know that I want to be creative and inspired and I rock out to Justin Beiber on my spare time.
You'd know that I love writing. I love music and talking to people, getting to know them.
If you really knew me, you'd know that I look on the inside of people, not the outside.
You'd know that I'm a 'go-with-the-flow' type of person.
You'd know that I wish I wasn't so shy or socially awkward.
If you really knew me, you'd know that I love cheeseburgers and that my parents are split and I don't know where my life is going; no freaking idea.
If you really knew me, you'd know that I dream of changing the world and understanding everyone.


But I'm scared.


I'm scared of heights and making wishes I know won't come true.
I'm scared of taking chances and sinking to the bottom of the ocean that's blue,
I'm scared of writing this poem because I've forgotten what it means to be real.
I'm scared of everything.

But we have to be scared so we can push through

and discover things we never knew

and change for the better and make ourselves new.

and for a moment, If only you knew,

If you knew me, You'd know that I want to know you.
And I wish we had more time.
But we don't, and that's it.
A shout is useless unless that shout is meant for love.
Shout for what you love, who you love and don't ever, ever stop.
Because if you really knew me,
You'd know that I shall never cease to shout for love.

Jealousy.

My Father moved through dooms of Love

- E.E. Cummings

"and nothing quite so least as truth.
--i say though hate were why men breathe--
because my Father lived his soul
love is the whole and more than all"




This was a long poem, but I couldn't stop reading it.  The way E.E. Cummings writes, makes you want to keep reading and figure out exactly what he's trying to say.  I think it's talking about how good love can be when you feel the different emotions when you love someone; also how horrible love can be.  The main point though, is no matter how bad or hard you love someone, you can't protect them from hurt and things that you can't control.

I had no idea what this poem even meant.  This poem has so many different sides to it, it has deeper meanings and he says things without saying them; it makes me want to write like him.

This is for You.

This is for you.


This, this is for the undecided majors.  This is for the loners.  This is for the teenagers cursed with love.  This is for the heartbroken.  This is for the greasers and the preps and the jocks and the nerds.

Stop and breathe.

This is for the fat girls.  This is for the skinny guys.  This is for the anorexic.  This is for the bingers and the geeks and the police chiefs. This is for the heartbroken mothers and the brothers out fighting in war.  This is for the tear drops and the failures.

Stop and breathe.

This is for the people who used to believe in love.  This is for those who still believe in love.  This is for the people who gave up.  This is for the sinners, the winners.  This is for the liars and cheaters.  This is for the criers and the believers.  This is for the stoners and those who let their dream fall right through their fingers.

Stop and breathe.  Take a minute to soak it all up.  Because all this, is the reality folks.  When you're dying to change and changing to live instead of die.  When you're fighting against the pain and can't help but ask if you're still sane.  When you are trying to forget all the bad and ignore all the rotten things in your life; Stop and breathe.

Don't waste another second of your freaking life.
Yeah, you're barely above the surface, but you're not dead.
So, stop and breathe.
It, will be alright.

Inspiration from Gandhi.

This is probably something you have heard before.  Something everyone else says because, at the end of the day, we are all the same.

But we're not all the same.  If we were all the same, it would be a pretty boring life....
If we could all rhyme like that one guy,
or all jump off a cliff and fly.
If we could all sing, cook, dance, and play the sax,
It'd be boring to the max.

We wouldn't be able to call ourselves unique.
But who is unique in a world full of seven billion people?

I keep forgetting to be different.
I keep forgetting to be the one to speak out to you.
To be the one to stand up and say something's not okay.
I keep forgetting that sometimes, you need to be out of your comfort zone.
I keep forgetting to be real, and I want to be real, for every second of my life.  For every second that counts.

Because it's so easy to blend in, so easy to not be seen, because there are so many people.

When do we own ourselves completely?

Because we're too busy trying to be like everyone else.  Too busy trying to be normal and avoid being a minority.

You know, no one has this whole life thing figured out.
But let me tell you something.

At the end of the day, I don't want to be like everyone else.
I want to own myself and not rely on what people think of me.
At the end of the day, I want to be just me.  Something no one has seen before.

You may have heard something like this before; it's because it's the stuff that makes us a little bit different yet the same.

Inspiration.
And tonight's not the last time I'm gonna see the light.

My Journey

Oridinary World: I live in Spanish Fork, barely have any friends, I'm a freaking weird kid.

Call to Adventure: I move to Cedar Hills.  Gain lots of friends and I'm still a freaking weird kid.

Refusal to Call: Jr. High/High School.  It's a pretty socially awkward time frame and you don't really know what to except or what's going on.  At least it was for me.

Meeting with Mentor: is God my mentor? hmmm.  I guess that counts....

Crossing the Threshold: trusting many people.

Tests, Allies, Enemies: Lose some friends, still very shy.  Lose friends to drugs.  Gossip ruining people's lives.

Approach: Deciding whether or not to try out drugs, kind of defining who I was at the time.

Ordeal: Parent's divorce, being insecure.

Reward: Living through hard times and realizing it will be okay in the end.

The Road Back: Seeing old friends and old habits and trying not to get into those things.  Knowing I don't need that crap  in my life.

Resurrection: Standing on my own ground even if it's not what my friends or family like, doing what's best for me and having a better life. I create my own life.

Return with Elixir: Knowing to never, ever give up.

Hero: Me
Mentor: God? haha.
Threshold Guardian: friends.
Herald: Mother
Shapeshifter: drug friends
Shadow: Rumor friends
Trickster: Boys, haha.

Film Analysis

Forever Strong.

Oridinary World: Rick lives in Arizona where his days consist of partying and drinking with his friends and girlfriend, he plays rugby with his distant father as his coach.  His family life isn't ideal.

Call to Adventure: Gets a DUI, seriously injures his girlfriend and gets sent to Juvi in Salt Lake City.  He is asked to join the Highland Rugby team, his home rivals.

Refusal to the Call: Rick beats up some one in Juvi and has no desire to change himself.
 

Meeting with the Mentor: Marcus, his mentor, tells him he needs to change, he can't go to Arizona the same kid.  Another mentor is Coach Gelwix, the coach of the Highland team.
 

Crossing the Threshold: Starts to play with the Highland Rugby team.
 

Tests, Allies, Enemies: Friend from home sends drugs in a Rugby ball.  He has a problem with Q, a teammate.  He becomes Captain of the Highland Rugby team.
 

Approach: His old friends want him to play for the Flagstaff team, his home team. "I want you to be Forever strong on the field, so that you'll stay forever strong off it." - Coach Gelwix.
 

Ordeal: His friend, and teammate, Kurt dies from being hit by a drunk driver.  His dad picks him up from Juvi, a year later, fro his early release based on good reports from Marcus.
 

Reward: He becomes captain and he is a Highland team member and he has found some place where he is loved and where he belongs.
 

The Road Back: His dad picks him up from Juvi, a year later, for his early release based on good reports from Marcus.  His old friends are stupid with old habits.  Rick has changed for the better.  His friends get him arrested, because his "friends" framed him with drugs and alcohol. Rick and father have a fight about his past and what's going on.
 

Resurrection: Tells his friends he's changed and how he is a Highland player now.  He wasn't doing drugs or alcohol.  "Coach Gelwix took away my life." - Dad. "Well he gave me mine." - Rick.
 

Return with Elixir: His father stands up for him and gives him confidence.  Rick and dad reunite.  He is a Highland player and he is Forever Strong.

 

Archetypes:

Hero: Rick: learns to be a different person, forever strong.

Mentor:Marcus, Coach Gelwix

Threshold Guardian: Coach Gelwix

Herald: Father

Shapeshifter: Old Friends

Shadow: Old Friends

Trickster: Old Friends.

Ordinary World.

Tracy's birthday was next week, 19 years old.

She's pretty excited.  She's young, and loving life.  Living among the streets of Chicago and has the greatest boyfriend.  She is a beautiful girl who has an impeccable imagination and creativity about life.  Her life is art.


She was unfathomable.  She could draw anything; when she drew, she put her soul into it.

She started to draw one day, what seemed to look like a tree.  All of the sudden she had the sudden urge to puke her stomach out.  After she did, she got another horrible sick feeling, but it was different this time.

Travis was a regular 20 year old, with a killer intellegence going for him.  He had a beautiful girlfriend and was loving life.  Speaking of which, she was calling.
It was so sweet to hear her voice, but it had a different tone to it.  Worried, yet excited.
Travis couldn't breathe.
He dropped the phone.

Tracy was back to her drawing of the tree.  She doesn't have the same inspiration because her whole world had changed in 2 ways.  She was pregnant, and her boyfriend was long gone.

She draws an amazing picture of a tree being so strong and free on one side, and wilted and broken on the other.

Questions:
What will happen to Tracy and the baby?
Will Travis come back?
How will her life change even more?